I Need A Hero
by xxwriter389xx
Summary: After Daxter is returned to his human form, the feelings are nearly impossible to ignore. But scarred by his time in prison, Jak struggles with his inner demons and Daxter steps up to the hero his friend desperately needs. Humor/Drama/Romance JxD
1. Chapter 1

I Need A Hero

_A hero's not afraid to give his life_

_A hero will save me_

_Just in time_

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><p>"We're in the future, Dax…"<p>

_This…place is home? This __hell hole?!_

And here I was thinking there was someway back. That maybe we're in the wrong place. But never had it crossed my mind that we were…in the wrong time!

My brow furrowed the tinist bit. I spared a glance at Daxter who for once had nothing to say.

He met my gaze from the perch on my shoulder. My eyes said everything I couldn't put into words.

"This _horrible _place is…_our world_…" It came out as a whisper as I turned my head away. I couldn't look at his eyes, full of more emotion than he ever showed.

I thought I could get away someday. From all the nightmares. From this nightmare of a city!

Too many bad memories. All the good were being poisoned.

The Dark place in my head whispered to me.

_You'll never escape me. This nightmare will never make way for a dream._

I could feel my fists tighten and my teeth clench.

This was when Dax seemed to snap out of it.

"So we gonna look inside or what?"

I said nothing and started climbing the steps. Once through the arch of the door Dax hopped off my shoulder.

"I spent many-a-day cleaning up this place for Old Green and look at it! All gone to waste." He swiped a paw across the dust covered floor.

I didn't respond. Instead I looked around, seeing the pots that used to thrive with plants now nothing but empty shells of what used to be alive.

A sudden thump had me turning around to see Daxter sprawled out on the floor.

"Ow!" He was glaring at a hole in the floor boards.

Something about that…

I knelt down next to it and yanked up the board. I looked inside, immediately recognizing the box. Placing it on the floor, Daxter bounced up.

"Hey this is that box we hid before we went through that damn portal!"

I lifted the lid, not saying a word. I felt as if I was too tainted to touch any of this. This was all…too innocent.

Attached to a long woven string was a shark tooth. Dax always used to tell stories about how he wrestled that shark with his bare hands to make me that. I never told him that I saw him looking along the shores of the beach for hours that day. He had gotten so sun burnt I laughed every time I looked at him for a week.

Dax picked something up, but his paws being so tiny, he expectantly dropped it. I heard the distinct noise of a release of pressure as whatever had rolled across the floor opened. I looked over to see a light shining and something being projected into the air like a screen.

"Whoa! I don't remember this!"

"Me neither…" I said quietly with what even to me sounded surprisingly like awe.

We both looked closer to see what seemed to be playing like a movie.

"Is that…?" Daxter's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "That's us!" I watched and listened, remembering this day. It was strange looking at myself at only the age of eight, the blonde in my hair barely visible. Same with Dax, his hair shockingly red.

"Sheesh! Those crabs have quite the claws! I swear one of 'em took a chunk outta my butt!" He was rubbing the aforementioned area as if that would relieve the pain.

I sat in the sand, eyes on the water.

"Hey, Jakkie-boy? Anyone in there?" He waved a hand in front of my face.

I looked to him.

I wondered now what I had been thinking about. And I suppose back then Dax wondered the same because he asked, in his slightly more high-pitched voice, what was on my mind.

I shrugged and Dax sat next to me. It was silent for a few moments, something rare with him.

"Do you ever think about your parents?" Even now it was a shocking question but back then I didn't even know how to respond.

Dax was staring at the water lapping against his bare feet but I felt he had been seeing something else entirely.

He looked to me after a moment, eyes locked on mine.

I shrugged but he could see from my eyes that I didn't even remember them. For all my life I was raised by my uncle and Samos. I had been told that my parents died out traveling one day. Stupid me thought maybe they were out there alive somewhere. Guess I would never find out.

"Well I remember mine. And sometimes I wish I didn't. Not that they weren't good parents, don't get me wrong. But remembering sometimes just isn't worth it. God I don't even know how I ended up here…" By the end he had sounded dejected and looked back to the ocean.

My hand went to his shoulder and he wiped at his freckled cheeks with a sleeve. I squeezed gently and he smiled, knowing I meant I'd always be there.

"Well boy that crab being a pain in the ass got me hungry. You up for some lunch?" He stood, back to his normal self, except for deep in his eyes where the pain hadn't fully receded.

I glanced over at him now, his body may have been different but those eyes were the same, except now the pain had resurfaced. His ears were drooping and his tail sat lifeless on the floor.

"Hey…" I began but didn't know where to go from there. Dax was right when he said I didn't have a way with words.

"Don't worry about me, big guy." He forced a smile and I shut the device, setting it aside.

I pet the fur between his ears and he couldn't help but perk up a bit.

"So what else is in here?"

I looked back over to the box I had forgotten about for a moment.

A few pictures, browned at the edges from time, sat on top of a pair of clothes.

"Oh yeah! These were in case I got changed back 'cuz the Green Fuzz threw out all my other clothes! You know 'cuz he's a tightwad like that." He was pulling them on, everything drooping around his small frame.

I laughed. "You look ridiculous."

He ignored me. "Mm…Precursors, how I wish I could be in that body again…"

The familiar whir and whoosh of the mechanism from before was heard and a white light shot out from its seems, blasting Daxter so hard he hit the wall. I shielded my eyes with my hand and took it down once it dulled.

I looked to Dax and started to move toward him. Then I froze.

I blinked hard and before I could say anything he spoke.

"Jak, quit lookin' at me like I have two heads will ya?!"

My eyes grew wider and my jaw dropped.

"Jak! What are you-" He froze when he saw his hands.

The biggest smile I had seen in a long time came across his face. He still had buck-teeth, but they fit a little better now. His freckled face, dimples, even his mess of fiery hair, held back by goggles; all there! Lanky build, feet a little too big for his body, along with his ears.

"Holy crap! I can't believe that actually worked! I should wish more often!" He jumped up and, not used to this body after over two years in the form of an ottsel, stumbled a little and steadying himself with the wall.

I was speechless.

"Dax…" I managed, disbelief coloring my tone.

"No need to say it! I'm _gorgeous_, I know!" He flashed me a cocky smile and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Let's grab this box o'stuff and high tail it outta here in case the Precursors decide to take back their gift."

I had barely managed to put all the items in my bag before I was dragged out.

Daxter's chatter flew over my head as we made our way out of Dead Town and back to the city.

He was back. Not that it wasn't great but…how would I protect him now? He'd need to learn to fend for himself in case something happened.

First thing tomorrow, gun course training.

Before I knew it we were in front of the Hip Hog and Daxter went waltzing in like he owned the place.

Tess looked up and caught my eye.

"Jak! But…where's my Daxie-poo?" She looked around for the ottsel.

"Right here, sweet cheeks!" He swept a hand through the air, presenting himself.

Tess's gaze drifted back to me and I responded with a nod and a sheepish grin.

She gasped, a hand going to her mouth.

"Didn't believe me, baby? I told you I used to be like everyone else!"

She squealed and hugged him tightly, and from the look on his face, he enjoyed the view more than ever.

I turned as I heard the door slide open.

"What's got her so excited?" Torn's rough voice sounded from the doorway.

"Daxter's got a new look." I turned back to them.

"Uh…have you been spending too much time in the sewers? Those fumes can mess with you, 'cuz that's not your 'buddy'." He came to a stop next to me and I met his gaze.

"That scrawny kid is the rat?" He didn't wait for a response. "Hm…makes sense I guess." He sat down at the bar.

I took a seat next to him and watched him pour some liquor from a bottle into a freshly wiped glass.

I spun the stool around until my back was against the counter and my elbows on the surface.

Torn sat hunched over his glass.

"You better not let this distract you 'cuz we need you to win this war,"

"No pressure," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"I'm serious." He took a swig of his drunk,

I looked to him. "Why would this distract me?" I cocked one eyebrow.

Torn grunted. "Never mind." He downed his shot and stood up. "Be sure to get back to the hideout asap. I've got a full day planned for tomorrow." And with that he left.

I looked back to Daxter and rose with a sigh. Time to break up the party.

"Time to go, Dax."

"Aww…okay. See you later, sweet cheeks."

The air outside the bar was thick with smog. The air felt heavy and I looked up to the sky to see rain clouds. It always rained in Haven, rarely did in Sandover. I suppose it has to match the mood of the place.

"You seem quieter than usual, big guy. You alright?"

I was so used to the sound coming from right by my ear that for a moment I didn't react. And by then he was standing in front of me, almost at eye level-that would take some getting used to.

I nearly collided with him before bringing myself to a halt.

I shook my head to clear it.

"Yeah, Dax. I'm fine."

His brow puckered the tiniest bit and I smiled to ease it. I put an arm around his shoulder, walking again.

"Seriously, don't worry about me." I gave a gentle squeeze and he smiled.

"Alright, buddy. Man! I can't wait to see the look on Old Green's face when we finally find him!" He spread his arms out wide, hitting me in the chest. A small smile still played on my lips as I watched him. Without thinking I reached out and ruffled his hair.

"Hey! I'm not an animal anymore!"

I chuckled.

"It'll be priceless, Jakkie-boy, priceless I tell ya." Daxter clasped his hands behind his head, returning to his earlier thoughts. "Damn," he yawned. "All this excitement has got me wiped. And sheesh! You gotta walk so much in this city!" he continued to complain as I walked over to a zoomer on the side of the road.

I hopped on and revved the engine which caused Dax to stop his rant and look over.

"Oh yeah! My feet thank you, Jak." He hopped on behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I shivered and told myself it was the cold.

I felt the first drops of rain as I sped across the lake in front of the bar. And by the time we were back at the hideout we were soaked.

"Shit! We must look like drowned rats!" Daxter exclaimed, shaking himself off, highly resembling the way he would when he was still an ottsel. "Pun intended." He smirked.

We got to the bottom of the steps and once the door opened, Torn was immediately behind it.

"The Shadow has decided it's time to meet you."

"Why is that place in the old ruins so important to you?" I countered.

"There's a powerful energy force at the old house. The Metal Heads are drawn to it." Was his short reply.

I saw Daxter try and peek around Torn to get a look at this so-called Shadow.

"No kidding? We used to know the guy that lived there…" I trailed off as I saw Daxter's expression.

"So, you're the new recruits who keep getting into trouble," sounded an all too familiar voice.

"Oh no, not you!" Daxter exclaimed, throwing his hand up in the air.

But the man continued on, as if Daxter had never spoken. "Welcome to our humble Underground movement. I am known as the Shadow, but you may call me Samos. And you are?"

Dax turned to me. "Sheesh Jak, we went through all that to meet his holiness, ol' log on the head, grandpa green?!" His arms were thrust wildly in Samos' direction.

I chose to ignore Daxter too, and looked to the Shadow. "Don't you know who we are?"

He looked utterly confused. "Sorry kid... never seen you before... and I never forget a face... especially one that ugly." He pointed to Daxter.

"So it begins…" Dax sighed.

"How is this possible? We came through the rift with you... into the future...right?" I was looking to Samos desperately. He _had _to remember who we are.

"Yeah!" Daxter exclaimed. "You used to look older than dirt and uglier than a knotted stump. What gives? Did you get a little nip and tuck while we were gone?"

I put a hand to my forehead and I could see the rage growing in Torn's face.

Samos sighed. "Listen boys, I don't know what kind of twigs you've been chewing on, but I don't have time for this. We've got a Baron to overthrow, a child heir to protect, an invasion of Metal Heads to stop, and a city to save. I'd say the schedule's pretty full! Besides, I haven't gone through any rifts. I hate teleporting!"

"Sure sounds like the ol' Samos," Dax mumbled.

He continued without acknowledging him. "Tomorrow I'm going to need you to go to Haven Forest and root out a few Metal Heads. That forest is my source of power, but I can't protect it much longer. Chase down and destroy all the Metal Head scouts you find there. Good luck... and welcome to the fight!" He smiled.

Too many changes for one day.

"Yeah…" I sighed. "C'mon, Dax."

"What the hell is going on in this place!" he said as we made our way to the back rooms.

I shrugged and Torn glowered after us.

The room we generally slept in wasn't too much of a space, but considering Daxter generally either talked in his sleep or just plain talked too much, being out in the main room wasn't an option. But this way worked better anyway because sleep was not my best friend and I was visited by nightmares almost every night. Emotion wasn't something I wanted splayed out for all the members of the Underground to see. And those nightmares were definitely something that brought those out.

After those two years in prison…things changed. As if that weren't already obvious enough. I turned into a monster. And sometimes I still believe I am a monster.

Daxter wouldn't hear it though. He would curl up next to me, wrapping his tail around my neck, letting me know he was there and he wasn't afraid. That made everything bearable. It made everything kind of…okay.

"Oh boy! Guess who's getting the top bunk!"

I went over to the rickety old dresser, and conveniently all of my stuff fit into a single drawer. I pulled out an old shirt and threw it at Daxter and it landed over his face.

"Well thank you," he said sarcastically and pulled it off.

"Well you have to sleep in something. With that and your underwear you're all set," I told him, pulling off my own pants and tunic, hanging them over the edge of the dresser to dry.

"And you think I can't sleep in boxers like you, handsome?"

I laughed. "Did you want to?"

He was silent for a moment. "No."

"Didn't think so." I smirked and went to put on some dry boxers and I could have sworn I saw Daxter blush. But he turned away fast and started taking off his own wet clothes until he was left in a dripping pair of boxers.

"Really? You're gonna wear my underwear too? I didn't know this was what best friends did," I said, turning back to the drawer and pulling out a pair for him. I handed them over and grabbed his wet clothes, hanging them over the opposite side of the dresser.

I turned back to see him wearing what I had given him, his hair making little dark spots on the blue shirt from his wet hair. I grabbed a towel and placed it on his head so you could just barely see his eyes. But he didn't move, so I started rubbing at it to try and dry his hair.

That's when he seemed to snap out of it and pulled the towel off, shaking out his hair all over me.

"Thaaanks…" I smiled a little and took off my goggles, toweling off my own hair. "Very mature of you."

"I am the center of all maturity, Jak-meister, and the sooner you understand the obvious the better." He gave me that cocky smirk, his teeth poking out the tiniest bit. And then he climbed the creaky ladder up onto the top bunk.

"Ahhh….my own bed…" He stretched out. "Yet…sadly it's a little cramped up here… oh well." He shrugged, pulling the blanket up, yawning. "Night, Jak…"

"Night, buddy…" I switched off the light and laid down, staring at the splintering wood above me.

Darkness.

Something that was all too familiar.

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><p><em>Author's Note: The note worked better down here as to not mess up the whole header thing. I just wanted to say I do not own Jak and Daxter, that belongs to Naughty Dog. <em>


	2. Chapter 2

_I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like._

_Is it over yet, in my head?_

_I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind._

_Is it over yet? I can't win._

* * *

><p><em>Darkness. Pain. I knew nothing else. <em>

_The hot tears running down my cheeks stung at the open cuts._

_I looked up into ocher eyes and cringed at what I saw. A smile bordering on crazy played on his lips, lips that crushed themselves against mine. _

"_You know I love that innocent look you give me, Jak…" _

_No…no don't touch me…not there…_

_I wanted to scream. I wanted to rip into his skin. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. I wanted all these things but I never made a sound, never moved._

_I used to hope that one day he would grow bored. But he always found something to love about me. Something that would catch his interest. _

_He had eyes like fire, that burned into you. So you couldn't look away._

_I just wanted to look away…_

_I couldn't breath. Everything hurt. What was going on? Why wasn't I home? _

_I need you, Daxter…I need you to get me out of here. I need your smile to make everything okay._

_The way he smiles makes me want to run away. But, Dax, yours makes everything okay. Oh God…I need you!_

_I sobbed harder and Erol smacked me across the face. I was dizzy. I needed to lay down. _

_He shoved me roughly against the bed, body bent over the edge. _

_I felt the cold air hit the lower half of my body with a smack as my pants were tugged down._

_No no no no no! _

_I struggled to get breath in. _

_The worst pain imaginable is when someone is inside you. Someone you want out. _

_I never said yes! I don't want this! _

_I couldn't hold back a scream. _

_Fear. _

_Pain._

_Darkness._

I shot up in bed, panting. I stared at my handsI struggled to regain control. But the more I tried the harder it got and I felt myself choke back a sob.

A hand was on my back then and I jumped slightly.

"Relax, big guy… Just me." Daxter crouched next to my bed.

I couldn't answer. I didn't trust my voice.

The tears started to slow and I let out a shaky breath.

He knew better than to ask. Ever since he broke me out of prison it was always like this. But he never seemed to get tired of it. He was always ready to help me.

"You're not there anymore…" he said, sitting down next to me.

I nodded slowly, my breathing almost back to normal.

He wiped at my face with his sleeve and smiled a little.

I stared at him for a few moments and hugged him.

"I don't know where I'd be without you, Dax…" I whispered.

But I did. I would be dead.

He hugged me back.

"Just…don't think like that okay? I know where your minds going and I don't like it." His voice shook slightly and his arms tightened around me.

I pulled back to look at him. His eyes were so innocent and even in the dark, they sparkled with light. I hated poisoning that look with the darkness that seeped out of me every second. As much as I knew being near him destroyed him, I couldn't last without him. He was the one thing I had left that kept from going insane. He was the tether that kept me from floating away into a sea of darkness.

He interrupted my thoughts. "You need some more sleep, Jak."

"It's no use, Dax, you know that."

"C'mon," he pushed me down and laid next to me. "I'll stay with you down here. I was getting' lonely up there anyways." He snuggled closer to me, just like he did when he was an ottsel.

It was silent for a bit and I thought he was asleep but he spoke then.

"I don't know what goes on in your head, Jak…but if you ever wanna tell your buddy Daxter what happened, then I'm here."

I don't know if I was still emotional or if that just really hit a sensitive spot, but I choked up a bit. I swallowed hard before answering and even then my voice came out a bit strangled.

"Thanks…"

Sleeping didn't come too easily after that. I laid and listened to Daxter's steady breathing and the occasional wheeze that made me smile. I drifted off a few times, listening to the sound of his breaths like waves on a beach.

Torn's footsteps down the hall and past the door made me aware of the time.

I rose quietly out of the bed and checked to make sure my clothes were dry. I then took a towel and went off to the showers. And when I got back, towel wrapped securely around my waist, I saw Daxter sitting up in bed, rubbing at his eyes and yawning.

"Hey, big guy," he garbled.

"Morning," I nodded, drying off and putting on my clothes.

When I turned around I saw Daxter stumbling out of the room only to have him come back ten minutes later, dripping wet, with a towel wrapped around his skinny body.

"Brr!" He shivered. "You used up all the hot water! You suck!" He shook his hair out on me and I laughed, mussing it with my fingers.

"Maybe if we put some muscles on your bones then you would retain more body heat."

"Hey! Just 'cuz you tan and muscular and all god-like doesn't mean the ladies don't love me too!"

"Well sorry to break it to ya, Dax, but today we've gotta fit in some training if you're gonna be running around in this new and improved body. First things first, I'm not always gonna be around to protect you, and riding on my shoulder isn't a possibility anymore."

"What are you getting at, Jakkie-boy?" He stopped toweling off his hair to give me one of his world famous brow raises.

"Gun course."

"Boo-yah!" A huge grin crossed his face.

I smiled. "Glad you're excited. 'Cuz this is gonna take some work."

He yanked on the rest of his clothes and stood by the door tapping his foot as if he'd been waiting forever.

"C'mon, Jakkie-boy, we don't got all day!"

I looked to him and again I was taken aback. Seeing him so…back to normal was well…not normal. Being an ottsel had become his normal.

I guess I had been staring a bit too long because he grabbed my arm and tugged, leaving me barely enough time to grab my bag.

"No time to gawk at the gorgeousness that is me, big guy, I wanna get to shootin'!"

As he dragged me through the front office Torn looked up from the many papers scattered across his desk.

"Watch it, rat, quit man-handling my best fighter."

I smirked and Daxter tugged harder to spite him.

"Jak here is teaching me how to shoot so yous best be on good behavior so I don't bust a cap in yo' ass."

Torn raised an eyebrow at me.

"Well," I shrugged. "He's gotta learn to protect himself."

He grunted. "Well keep the shooting in the range, not around here." And that was his form of a dismissal.

Knowing Daxter would only get more anxious the longer it took to get there, I hopped in the zoomer outside the Underground and watched as Dax took the seat next to me. By the time we got there he was practically bouncing, and he leapt out and darted for the door.

"Alright, so we're gonna start off simple," I began as I took my guns out of my pack. "One, I don't use pistols. But since it's the easiest to teach with we're gonna start with that. Then we'll move on to the morph gun. The red mod is probably the best bet for you, it's not only the lightest but I'm not planning on having you shoot long distance, this is mainly for self defense in the event that I can't protect you." I loaded the pistol and handed it to him.

"Let's rock n' roll, baby." He grinned hugely.

I smirked and gestured for him to lead the way.

"First things first, how to hold the gun." I looked at how he kept it awkwardly positioned in his left hand. I got behind him and placed my hand over his, bringing the gun up. "Now you don't want it right even with your face because when you fire it, you gotta be prepared for the blow back. And you don't want the gun knocking you right in the face 'cuz you're trying to kill someone else not yourself." I brought my face next to his, my cheek gently brushing his, to get a better look at what he was seeing. "Alright, see the x on that wall over there."

He nodded.

"I want you to aim for that. Don't lock your arms, but also don't let 'em be too lose." I watched him. "Okay good. Now I want you to get what it feels like to fire this thing but I also don't want you falling on your ass. So fire and I'll make sure it doesn't smack you in the face."

He pulled the trigger and fell back into me. I steadied him and looked down. "See what I mean?"

"Sheesh!"

I laughed. "Think you can try it on your own now?"

"Uhh…okay…"

I stepped away and saw the nervousness in his face. I watched as he bit his lip, squinted his eyes shut and fired. I also watched as he fell right on his ass.

"Good…but next time you might wanna look at your target." I stuck my hand out to help him up and he stuck his tongue out at me. I smiled. He took my hand and I pulled him to his feet.

The day progressed in the same fashion, although there was less of an "ass to floor ratio", as Daxter liked to call it, as the day went on.

"You did pretty good today, Dax." I clapped a hand on his back.

He grinned. "And I don't think you've ever done that much talking in your life! Sheesh!"

I laughed. "I'll take you to see Tess, okay?"

"Guns and women. Ahhh…I love being a man." A dreamy smile spread across his face and I smirked, slinging my bag into the zoomer and helping Daxter up.

Once at the bar, Daxter amused himself with telling stories to the few who were there. Tess leaned over, her elbow on the countertop and chin in hand. Sig sat back, drink in hand, and slight smile on his lips. Jinx puffed away at his cigar, dropping the ashes into his empty glass. He seemed to be getting a real kick out of the tales Dax was spinning.

I sat in a booth towards the back of the bar, observing the scene as an outsider. It seemed completely normal. Like we weren't in the middle of a war. Like we weren't fighting against a tyrannical ruler bent on molding this city to satisfy himself. It seemed like things were almost…okay.

But of course being me, they never stayed that way.

I looked up as I heard the door slide open, the others too entertained by either the words coming out of Daxter's mouth or the way he moved around while saying them.

That walk…it was the first thing I recognized. It was a walk of purpose. A walk that said 'I am somebody, and I know it'.

Second, the eyes. Smoldering embers that had the capability to turn from burning to cold in an instant. A bored look always seemed to occupy them. And when the look held some form of emotion it made you want to run away screaming.

Fiery hair to match his sanity, or lack there of. Everything about him screamed fire, yet there was nothing warm about him.

Eyes instantly locked onto mine, as if he were a heat seeking missile and we were in the middle of the arctic, and I was the only living thing for miles.

That lazy smile played on his lips and it made me feel sick.

He walked over casually, sliding in across from me in the booth; as if that seat were saved for him.

"Hello, Jak. I've missed you."

I could hear the laughter in his voice. A thousand words were rushing through my head; voices, screams, confusion, all pounding at my temples. I shut my eyes tightly, hoping maybe I could escape. But the only thing I could see were images of things I never wanted to remember.

Pain.

Torture.

Erol.

And when I opened my eyes, I saw the embodiment of all my pain, all my suffering. I saw him sitting in a booth with me as if it were any typical evening. And even though the pain in my eyes was impossible to hide, it was as if he didn't notice. But looking into those eyes, and knowing them so well, I could see the amusement there; deep within. This is what fed him. This is what kept him going.

Fear.

He drank it in like a plant to water. Soaked it up like it was his life force. He was a leech, forever stuck on my heart and there was nothing I could do.

"I don't get even a hello? And here I was thinking I meant more to you…" His grin made me shiver. He placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward, the leather of his uniform squeaking in protest.

I swallowed hard but didn't respond.

He continued, most likely knowing he wouldn't get an answer. "You know, Jak? Even after these few years, your eyes never did change. Perhaps they lost some of their childish happiness, but they always showed _so_ much emotion." He placed a gloved hand on my cheek, his thumb resting below my eye.

I smacked it away.

"Always trying to fight back," he chuckled, sitting back, propping his legs up onto the table and clasping his fingers behind his head. "It's sad really," he pursued, glancing around nonchalantly. "Because once I get my hooks in someone," he turned his gaze on me, "they're never able to get them out."

My eyes narrowed. I didn't know it was possible to hate anyone more than I hated Praxis for what he'd done. But it seemed Erol was that possibility. Everything in me screamed to rip him limb from limb. And what was stopping me? Fear? Maybe…or maybe somewhere in my mind I needed him alive. Because killing him would be too simple. And killing him would hurt me too. He had been the only thing I'd ever known for two whole years. And getting rid of that was like…getting rid of a part of my life. Question was, why did it bother me having that part gone? What part of me was stopping me from getting rid of the pain?

But I knew the answer. The part of me that liked the pain. The other half of me that…enjoyed when I hurt. Laughed every time I fell.

"I see the wheels turning in your head, Jak… What ever could you be thinking of?" A knowing smile played on his lips.

My teeth ground together and my fingers tightened so much around the glass I thought it might break.

"Relax, Jak…" He brushed the back of his hand along my jaw and I wanted to puke. "You're so…tense. Perhaps I could…loosen you up?" he whispered, his mouth next to my ear.

I felt my breath hitch as I tried to calm down. I couldn't think about this. This was what he wanted. He wanted me to lose control. He wanted me to relive all those horrible days in prison. He wanted to break me.

And so far he was succeeding.

The dam inside me was cracking. I could feel the memories leak out. I couldn't think of this. I just…couldn't.

I clenched my teeth together, trying to keep it all in.

He brought his face in front of mine, so I could see nothing but those smoldering eyes. His lips nearly brushed against mine.

"Well this has been fun…We shall meet again soon, Jak. You can be sure of that…"

That horrible laughter rang out as he walked from the bar. And that was when they all looked over. They hadn't realized, hadn't seen anything.

"Jak…?" I heard Daxter's voice through the fog in my brain.

I couldn't move. I was paralyzed by the memories.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped, sliding further into the booth.

"Relax, big guy, it's just me." Daxter slid in next to me. "Who was that?"

When I didn't answer, Tess did. "Erol. The commander of the Krimson guards and the Baron's right hand man."

Sig chimed in. "He's one crazy son of a bitch."

"I hear he don't treat the prisoners all to well either." Jinx puffed away at his cigar.

I could feel Daxter's gaze turn back to me, and he knew. He knew that the reason I was having those nightmares was because of Erol. And it made him mad, more mad than I think I'd ever seen him. But he hid it well. He knew I wouldn't want to air out my secrets. Not to anyone but him. Maybe.

I saw sparks behind those blue eyes that normally remained rather carefree and their childish roundness was the slightest bit narrowed.

"Question is, what was he doing here?" Tess wondered aloud.

Daxter's gaze flickered to me for a moment then back.

"Well whatever Crazy Ginger wanted it couldn't have been anything good."

"You got that right, Chili Pepper." Sig nodded in agreement.

"Did he say anything to you, Jak?" Tess' eyes were on me.

"Nothing worth mentioning." I didn't look up from the table. "We better get going, Dax. Samos still needs us to go to the forest and get rid of those metal heads." I paused. "But if you wanted you could stay here."

"Nah I gotta test out my new shootin' skills." I had a feeling that wasn't the only reason. He didn't want me alone.

I stood up, shoving my hands in my pockets and I felt eyes on the back of my head. I couldn't even put up a front. So I walked out and soon heard Daxter's footsteps behind me.

"Hey, moody, wait up!" He caught up to me.

Except for the occasional comment from Daxter and the whir of the zoomer's engine, the ride to the forest was silent. Walking through the pressurized doors was like stepping into a totally different world. So calm and quiet. The smell of the grass and the plants and the trickling of water. And like hell I was going to let the metal heads ruin a place like this.

Somewhere in the middle of shooting everything had gone black and when my eyes were my own and the darkness cleared, I could see scattered globs of dark eco slinking over to me and being absorbed into my skin.

"Now that you got all the dark outta your system, mind explaining what the hell happened back in there with that crazy commander?"

"Nothing, Dax. Don't worry about it."

He shocked me by shoving me up against a tree, pinning my arms against it.

I blinked, my eyes slightly wider.

"I'm sick and tired of this, Jak! You're more bottled up than a Jack Daniels! Could you for once tell me what's going on in your head?! 'Cuz I swear one day you're gonna explode!"

His face had become red, not just from shouting but it always did when he was angry. His freckles looked even darker and his hair even redder. I watched him pant and as his breathing slowed I shook my head.

"He just came there…to be himself."

He waited for me to continue.

"He knows how to make my skin crawl. He knows the words to say, the way to say them, and where he should put his hands to make me wanna jump out of my own skin. He knows every fucking thing about me and I guarantee he'll never get over the thrill of seeing me broken."

I could tell he didn't know how to respond. So I shook him off and turned my back on him.

"Satisfied?" I guess I didn't know how badly I wanted some response until I turned back and saw those eyes on me.

Shock. Disgust. Anger.

But most importantly: pain.

He was imagining what I was talking about. Because that's what he did. He made my pain his in the hopes of helping me bare it better.

"What happened to you in prison…I'll never know how it felt. But all I know is there's so much more about it than you're telling me."

I stared at him, not able to think of a reply. As much as I wanted to tell him I just…didn't know how.

I turned my back again.

"He obviously did something you in prison, Jak. You can't deny that. You're not just different from the dark eco."

I tensed and felt sparks fly across my skin.

"I watch you, Jak, and I worry that one day it's all gonna be too much."

I felt Dark getting closer to the surface. And although I was aching from the fight, he was ready to take more blood.

"Stop…" I heard myself beg and I wasn't sure who it was to.

I stumbled to the water and saw my reflection.

My skin was starting to go pale and the horns were growing. I could see the hands of darkness in my eyes, grasping at the blue.

"No…" I grunted and heard the difference in my voice.

Dark was taking over, shutting me behind the walls of my own mind, where I would scream and no one could hear me.

I watched as Dark turned his eyes to Daxter.

Most of the time I would let him take over and everything would go black, but it seemed sometimes Dark wanted me watching. And that's what scared me the most.

"Jak…?" The pitch in Daxter's voice jumped, as it always did when he was scared. "B-buddy…? I know you're in there…" He took a step back but with no where else to go hit the tree with a thump.

Dark laughed. I saw Dax visibly cringe and felt myself do the same.

This is what Dark loved to do, scare the ones I cared about. And that's why he wanted me to watch.

I tried to take over, I couldn't let him do this. Not to Dax.

"Jak, snap out of it…please!" His eyes were growing wider as Dark closed in.

I saw him put a claw on his cheek, and slowly drag a talon down, leaving a line of blood in its wake.

He squeaked in pain and Dark placed his tongue against it, licking up the blood.

"I see why he likes you so much…" Dark's voice sounded even worse out loud than it did in my head. Worst of all, it still sounded like me.

"W-what do you mean…?" Daxter stuttered.

"So…innocent. So…delicious." A wicked smile spread across his face and Dax shrunk back.

"Jak…please…." Tears were clinging to his lashes and I struggled to get out.

"Run, Dax!" I shouted, wishing he could hear me, but the sound simply echoed around the black space.

Dark laughed. _"Don't be silly, Jak…you know he can't hear you," _he spoke inside my head.

"Do you know what I love, Daxter?" His name was hissed from purple lips.

"W-what…?"

"Tormenting Jak. Right now he's simply…trapped." Those purple lips now stretched across stark white fangs. "And all he's able to do is watch…while I destroy the last bit of sanity he has left."

Dark was laughing and I wanted to tear him apart. It didn't matter that he was me, because all I knew was how badly I wanted him gone for threatening Daxter.

"I won't let you hurt him…" I grunted, struggling to regain control. The world shifted and I saw Daxter through my own eyes as I took a step back.

"Jak…" he said my name, mixed with a sigh of relief.

I felt my body hit the ground and for a moment I blacked out, and when I opened my eyes again Daxter was leaning over me, his hand on my chest.

"Sheesh, buddy! You scared the crap outta me…" And without saying it I knew he didn't just mean by passing out.

I looked into dark blue eyes. "I'm sorry." Two simple words, apologizing for scaring him, but also for what I could turn into…and what I could do. My eyes moved to the slice on his cheek.

He followed my train of thought. "No worries, big guy." He gave me a lopsided grin.

I let my eyes close.

"Reminds me of the days we used to sleep down at the beach in Sandover," he said, trying to change the subject as he laid down next to me. "Those were the days…" He sighed.

I looked over to him.

He had his hands behind his head, staring up at the multicolored clouds. His eyes soaked up the color and reflected it in the most amazing way. His milky skin nearly shimmered from the beams of light bouncing off the water. When he glanced my way for just a second, it was like my heart stopped beating, and restarted twice as fast. He absentmindedly chewed at his lip with his two front teeth and it was then that I wondered why everyone had always called him ugly. I didn't think he was at all. As a matter of fact…he was far more attractive to me than anyone I'd ever met.

"Dax…"

"Hmm…?" He turned his gaze lazily to meet mine.

I turned on my side to face him and he watched me, not saying a word. I gently placed a hand on his cheek and felt myself move closer to him. I didn't know what I was thinking, but something inside me just…told me this was what I wanted, what I needed even.

I couldn't tell if Daxter was in shock or if he was waiting for me to continue, but I didn't even think about it. All I could think about were those soft lips against mine…

I was mere inches from his faces when my communicator went off, breaking the trance Daxter seemed to be in. He pulled back and immediately looked away.

I silently groaned and listened to Torn's voice who had been speaking on the other end.

"You two better not have died out there. Well, the rat I don't care about, but you, well you're important."

I saw Daxter scowl.

"So high tail your asses outta there, big day tomorrow so rest up. I don't need you fallin' asleep on your feet and being no good to anyone tomorrow."

The communicator switched off.

"Ol' tattooed wonder sure has his panties in a bunch, sheesh!" He stood, brushing himself off. "So are we off?"

I looked at him. It was as if nothing had happened. Had I dreamt that? No…no I couldn't have…

"Yeah…" I rose to my feet.

"Check this thing out when we get back will ya? I dunno what kinda infections you could be spreading with that tongue of yours." He gestured to his cut and I blushed, finding a double meaning in those words; and it seemed he found them too because a flush crept across his cheeks as well.

We were mostly silent on the way back and it wasn't until we were in our room did he say anything.

"Wanna check this out now? I wanna get some shut eye."

I nodded and sat him down on the edge of my bunk.

I cleaned out the cut with minimal hissing from Daxter and covered it with gauze and some medical tape.

"We'll change it in the morning." I took off my shirt and pants, climbing into bed.

He yawned, changing into the sleepwear I'd given him. "Sounds good, buddy." He climbed up into his bed and it creaked as he found a comfortable position under the covers.

I laid there for some time, staring at nothing in particular, trying hard not to think and so far not succeeding. And when I could have sworn Daxter was asleep he spoke.

"Hey, Jak?"

"Yeah?"

"Mind if I uh…sleep down there with you? It's kinda…lonely up here all by myself."

I smiled in the dark. "Sure, Dax." I scooted over to make room for his small frame and watched as he came down the ladder.

He snuggled up against me and sighed against the warmth between us. "Ahhh…much better." I could hear the smile in his voice.

I put my arm around his waist and he borrowed even closer.

I smiled and as I listened to his breathing slow, I felt myself drifting to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: <em>I do not own Jak and Daxter, that belongs to Naughty Dog. <em>_


	3. Chapter 3

_I feel the darkness creeping it_

_Soon it will begin_

* * *

><p>My sleep was empty, no nightmares. Just…peaceful nothing.<p>

I managed to get up without waking Daxter. I came back in after showering to find him still asleep. I put pants on and knelt down next to the bed with the intention of waking him.

His mouth was slack, his teeth barely poking out.

I didn't realize I had been leaning closer until Torn shoved the door open and I reared back, jumping to my feet.

He raised an eyebrow and I cleared my throat looking away, feeling my face grow hot.

"Erm…well," he began gruffly. "Get him up 'cuz Samos' got a job for ya."

I nodded.

"And Jak?"

"Hm?" I looked to him.

"Maybe lock the door next time." He smirked and walked out.

I groaned, thumping my head against the wood of the bunk.

"What's eatin' ya, Jak?" Daxter yawned.

I opened one eye to glance at him. He was stretching just the way he did when he was an ottsel. My lip turned up a little and before I knew it I had grabbed him up, pulling his body to mine, the sheets still hanging loosely around his waist.

He stared up at me in shock. "What the…"

What the hell was right! What was I thinking…?

I let go of him. "Time for you to get up. You're favorite person has a mission for us."

That seemed to snap him out of it.

"Ugh that green fart is getting me up at the butt-crack of dawn again?! Sheesh!" He threw his arms up in the air and the sheet fell to the floor.

I laughed.

"I liked it better when he was lost…" he grumbled.

"Get changed. I'll be waiting out there." I shut the door on my way out and leaned against it, trying to calm my breathing.

Close one, Jak.

I walked out to see Torn filling up a cup of coffee, and when he looked at me the heat in my face grew even hotter.

"Now maybe you get what I meant when I said not to let this distract you," he gestured with his cup and took a sip.

"That was…not what it looked like-"

"Save it, Jak. I don't need nor do I wanna know about your private life."

"Torn, it's really _not_ like that-"

He held up his hand to stop me. "You really don't need to explain yourself. Just listen to what I told you and don't let this distract you."

Before I could get another word in Daxter came out.

"Jak, wanna put something else on this?" He had taken the bandage off his cheek and the cut was starting to scab but not enough where it shouldn't be covered.

"Uh yeah… Torn do you…" I turned to him and he held out a tube of something.

"What is that?"

"You're kidding right?"

Me and Daxter looked to each other and then back at him.

We shook our heads.

"It's stuff you put on cuts, fused with green eco so it heals stuff pretty quick."

"Aww, Jak, Tattooed Wonder here cares about me. I'm touched." Daxter smiled, putting a hand over his heart.

"More like a giant bandage kinda attracts attention and you _do not_ need anything _else_ to attract peoples attention to you."

"Well if you mean my beauty is already too much for them to handle then yes you are correct, I don't need anything else, thank you very much."

Torn laughed, and it sounded like sand running through your fingers. "Not likely." He went back over to his desk.

Daxter scowled. "Well!" He turned to me. "Put this on here for me?"

I nodded and squeezed some out onto my finger, spreading it gently along the gash.

"Now, not that I care, but how'd you manage that, rat boy?"

And for once, Daxter was silent. No snappy come backs. No appalled looks. No dramatic stories. Just silence.

Torn stopped pouring over papers, and looked up, more surprised than I'd ever seen him.

Daxter's eyes were on the floor. "Uh…no where."

Torn's gaze shifted to me.

"He fell. The whole balance thing you know?" I screwed the cap back on the container feeling Torn's gaze on my face, trying to judge whether or not to believe me. He knew something was up. But he didn't press further. He simply "humph"-ed and went back to work.

I watched the cut of Dax's cheek slowly fade to a scar and then we headed up the stairs.

Samos looked our way when the door opened. "I want you boys to escort the kid over to Kor at the Power Station. He promised to look out for the boy, and I'm just too busy to baby-sit right now. Oh, and take the kid's Crocadog with you!"

As I approached I watched the Crocadog growl at Samos.

"Oh…heh heh…isn't he sweet?" He forced a slight smile on his lips and inched his hand a little closer as he was talking and the animal almost bit it off.

"So what's this kid's story?" I watched him run after his pet.

"I found him just wandering the streets. But that amulet around his neck means he may just be the lost heir to the city."

I stared it out and something pushed at the back of my mind. Where had I seen that before…?

"Take the kid and the mutt to the Power Station. Watch out for guard patrols and defend the kid at all costs." As Samos continued, the kid reached for my hand and I jumped back at the touch.

"Sorry, kid, Jak here gets all weird when people touch 'im." Daxter said, holding out his hand instead and the kid took it happily.

"Oh... and if you happen to lose the Crocadog…" Samos seemed to say he wouldn't be bothered but it growled at him again.

"Yeah yeah, Log Man, we got this." Daxter started walking and the Crocadog trotted after them. I stood for a moment and then caught up.

"Alright, Dax, I've got the gun, and you've got the kid."

"Oh cool, I get to babysit, huh? Sounds easy enough."

I took out the occasional guard and then hopped into a zoomer. "Alright, hop in guys. This should get us a little farther." As I was driving I noticed more KG by the minute. "Dax, get on the gun."

"For real?! Yes!"

As I steered through the crowd, I occasionally glanced over to the kid who was watching the men that Daxter hit and clapping with his chubby little hands. I smiled a tiny bit.

As we got closer to the power station I noticed Krimzon guards flocked by the door and cursed under my breath.

"Alright time for a detour. Hang on, guys."

I made a sharp turn and headed for the bar. I heard the screech of the engine as a bullet hit the back of the zoomer and cringed as one grazed my shoulder.

"Shit." I pushed the gas down harder and pulled up right in front and in one swift motion I grabbed the kid and Daxter, the dog following close behind me. Once inside I put the kid down and let go of Dax's arm.

"Uh, Jak…" he pointed to my arm.

I looked down and saw the tear in my shirt and the fabric slowly turning crimson.

"Damn. And this was my favorite shirt." I smirked.

"You're the only guy I know who smiles with a bullet in his arm." Daxter laughed.

"Just grazed me, Dax, I'm fine." I tore the remaining portion of my sleeve off, so now it cut off at the top of my shoulder. I wadded it up and pressed it to my arm. "You watch him, I'll take care of this."

"Oh no you don't, Jak," Tess spoke coming over to me. "Sit right down on that stool and I'll fix you up in no time."

I sighed but wasn't in the mood to argue, the pain was starting to get to me. So I obeyed and she placed a bottle of alcohol on the table, pouring two glasses.

"One to clean the cut and one for you to drink when I give you stitches."

"Whoa, stitches? Tess, I really don't think it's that serious-" I started to stand up.

"Nonsense. I know what I'm doing, Jak, now you sit your handsome butt back down and lemme do my work."

I sighed and she washed the cut off with water, though it quickly filled with blood again.

"Welp, time to sterilize it." She soaked a cloth with alcohol and gently rubbed the wound.

I clenched my teeth, my body not happy with the intrusion and not to mention burn of the alcohol. But I had dealt with worse pain than this. This was nothing…

"Alright, down that puppy and I'll get to work."

"You sure one shot's gonna be good enough for him? I mean he's got a lot bulk. In the form of muscle of course." Daxter lounged against the counter.

"Oh trust me, it's strong." She winked.

"Erm…" I glanced nervously at the drink. "Doesn't exactly make me feel safe."

"Oh don't be a baby, you'll be fine!"

I hesitantly put the glass to my lips and swallowed it all.

She began working and I watched the boy run around with his Crocadog and a small smile played on my lips. I remembered when I had one back in Sandover. It ran off one day, possibly had babies, because next thing you knew they were all over the beach ready to bite someone's arm off.

I laughed at the thought.

"Uh…?" Daxter gave me a look.

And for some reason that made me laugh more. I tried to hold it back but frankly I didn't want to because it felt…nice.

"Okay….how strong was that stuff, Tess?"

"You don't wanna know."

He raised an eyebrow and looked back to me.

I laughed harder.

"Quit making him laugh, Dax, I need him still."

"Oh yeah 'cuz I was trying." He rolled his eyes.

My brain felt like it had melted and was flowing back and forth in my head like the ocean.

"God, I miss the ocean…"

"Where'd that come from?" He looked up from the kid.

I shrugged.

"Jak!" Tess exclaimed.

"Woops."

"Well, you're lucky I'm done or that coulda caused some problems." She wiped the newly closed wound off one last time with alcohol and announced her completion.

"Good as well…sorta new." She smiled sheepishly.

I stood, swaying a little. "Okay, well we should prolly get the kid to, Kor dontcha think?" I looked to Daxter.

He laughed. "Right now, Jak, I trust _him_ behind the wheel more than I trust you," he said, gesturing to the kid.

"Seriously? The stuff's just got me a little numb-"

"And dizzier then me when you spun me for pin the tail on the yakow at my ninth birthday."

"That was pretty funny…" I smiled.

"Not the point but okay."

"C'mon, buddy," I put my good arm around his shoulder. "dontcha trust me?"

"Not as far as I can throw ya. And trust me, that ain't far."

I rolled my eyes.

"Just stay here a while, Jak. I'll get the kid something to eat and you wait for it to wear off." She lead the two of us to a booth.

"I really don't like being treated like I'm a kid, Dax," I said, sitting down after him.

"I swear, you're like a big baby sometimes."

"_I swear, Jak, you're like a big baby sometimes. Just talk to her! What've you got to loose?"_

_I looked to him. _

"_Well not talk…but…you know what I mean!"_

_I laughed and Kiera turned around from her spot on the beach._

"_Oh hey guys!" She smiled hugely._

I smiled to myself.

"Uh…anyone home?" Daxter waved a hand in front of my face.

I caught his hand and held it in my own. Kiera didn't have freckles. But I liked freckles. I liked…

"You…"

"Me?"

"You…I like you."

"Well, I like you too, Jak, that's why we're best friends."

I shook my head.

"_If you like someone, all you gotta say is, 'I like you' or in your case mime it."_

"I like you." I looked him in the eye.

He stared for a moment and emotions seemed to flash behind his eyes. Realization spread across his face and color rose to his cheeks.

"Is this what I was like that one time I got drunk when I was still fuzzy?"

Always trying to cover up intense situations with a joke. It was his defense mechanism. While mine was going numb. Or even going Dark.

"I'm serious, Dax… Yesterday…in the forest…if Torn hadn't called…."

"W-what about it?" He knew what I was talking about.

"And this morning when you were sleeping…if Torn hadn't come in…"

"You did what while I was what?"

I rested my hand on his cheek, which was still a little rounded and soft under my rough finger tips. I leaned in closer and just before my lips touched his I felt a tug on my pants.

I sighed, looking down to see the kid. There was something about his eyes that I just couldn't say no to, so when he reached his arms up I lifted him onto my lap.

Daxter hadn't fully recovered because there was something about the way he was looking at me that got to me.

"He has your eyes."

That was not what I expected to come out of his mouth. "What?"

"He's got your eyes. Blue eco eyes. That's what I call 'em. Never seen another person with the same eyes as you, Jak. I'd know 'em anywhere. I spent all my time reading 'em. The emotions are always splayed out like a canvas…" He looked back to me and I knew he was trying to read me, to see if what I had said was true.

The corner of my lip twitched up into a smile and I could feel my eyes telling him I loved him.

"Here ya go, little buddy." Tess placed a bowl in front of the kid and me. "Dig in!" she chirped. "And here's some water for you, Jak, you need it."

I nodded, blushing as I remembered that she must have seen what had happened just before.

It took an hour or so for the drink to wear off and I think that's when I realized how stupid I was.

I refused to look at Daxter the whole ride to the power station and the whole ride back to the Underground. When we finally got into our room I walked in ahead of him and I heard him shut the door.

"Okay, I know what you've been thinking about."

I turned to look at him, trying to maneuver my shirt around my stitches.

"What happened back there…at the bar…"

"Like you said, Dax, I was drunk."

"But the stuff you said…you weren't drunk those two other times and I…" He took a step closer to me. "Well in the forest I wasn't…well it's not like I was saying no or anything and I just…."

I looked from the crumpled shirt in my hands to see his eyes downcast and cheeks pink. I reverted my eyes back to my shirt.

"Dax I…"

Next thing I knew he had his hand on my cheek and pulled our lips together. For a moment I couldn't think or even breath. This was what a real first kiss was supposed to feel like. Full of emotion. Pure. Innocent. Not dirty like all the other meaningless kisses. And this one threw all the previous aside. I could have lived in this moment forever. And I wasn't about to let it end.

I braded my fingers into his hair, winding an arm around his waist to pull him closer. I ignored the protest of my shoulder because nothing else but his soft lips mattered to me.

I could feel his need for exploration and I licked at his lips to show him it was okay. That seemed to be all the assurance he needed because he yanked me closer to him, searching deeper, going farther.

At some point I pulled back, but only enough to separate our mouths.

Neither of us opened our eyes and I only did when I felt him step back, slipping out of my grasp.

"I…whoa! Um…okay this…and me…and you…it's-and-well-excuse my French but what the fuck?!"

"'Cuz that's what you wanna hear," I nearly rolled my eyes.

"No no, you-oh for the love of Mar- you are amazing- a little bit too amazing if you ask me- but no I meant…I have been waiting so long for that and I…don't think I realized it 'till now."

I felt a smile slowly spread across my face until it was full-fledged.

He smiled cockily in return. "Well don't I just know all the right things to say?"

I stepped closer to him. "I may not have a way with words, Dax, but I certainly know my way around…_other_ places, if you know what I mean…" My grin quirked up to one side.

He stared for a moment. "Slow you're roll there, Jakkie-boy," He put a hand against my chest.

"And here I thought Daxter didn't get scared…" I trailed off, my fingertips gently tracing the small of his back.

He rolled his eyes. "Pft! He doesn't! And I'm not scared! I'm just…" He stopped when his head gently hit the wood of the bunk. I leaned an arm on one side of his head, keeping my other hand on his back.

"Just…?"

"Well…that was my first kiss," he blurted out.

I smiled a bit.

"Was it…yours?"

And the smile faltered and I stayed silent. Daxter must have seen the change in my face because he tilted his head.

"Jak?"

"The first that mattered. Let's just leave it at that."

I saw his eyes narrow a bit but he let it drop.

"C'mon," he pulled me down on the bed. "Let's get some sleep okay?"

"_Gentlemen, what is going on here?" _

_I could hear his boots smack the floor but I didn't look up. Two Krimzon Guards had either of my arms and were holding my body, my legs too tired to hold myself up._

"_We were taking him out and he ran for the edge, sir."_

_Erol raised an eyebrow. "Is this true, Jak…? You were trying to leave me? Leave all of this?" He placed his arms behind his back and stepped closer. "Why ever would you want to do that…?" He was playing games with me, I knew it without even looking._

_He cocked my chin up with his finger and forced me to look into those eyes._

"_Leave us, men. I need to speak with him." I fell to the floor without their grip and Erol placed his boot over my hand, pressing it to the cold, unforgiving metal. He knelt down, increasing the pressure but I didn't make a sound. He lifted my face up to meet his._

"_Suicide is a very bad thing, Jak… How in the Mar's name could you even think to leave me? What ever would I do without you?" The fire danced playfully in his eyes and he enunciated each syllable. He was toying with me because he knew no matter what I just couldn't get out. And he continued, "Your inviting lips…" he brushed them with a gloved finger. "Your soft skin…" he stroked my cheek. "And those big, blue, innocent eyes…." He smiled. "It seems I have reminded myself of your many good qualities." Next thing I knew we were back in my cell. _

"_And there are more hiding underneath your clothes…" He placed a hand over my groin. _

_I just wanted out. Even if that meant killing myself. I just wanted to be gone. To be away from the desperate kisses, away from the groping, away from those lips and those hands and most of all those eyes. The eyes that could burn you alive with a look. _

As I jolted awake I felt his eyes still on me, stinging my skin like cigarette butts. My body was on fire and I needed to get out. The room felt like my prison cell. I got out of bed in a daze, pulling on pants and a shirt and walked out. The light in the front was off for once, meaning even Torn was asleep. I went up the steps to the outside and found it was still dark, probably somewhere around three in the morning. Pin pricks of rain cooled my burning skin. And then I walked.

My legs ached after a bit and I was soaked to the bone. I didn't know where I was, all the streets looked to same. The occasional Guard patrolled the streets, but other than that it seemed no one else was around. People generally didn't risk going out at night unless it was for something illegal, something that certainly went on enough, but they knew how to stay hidden.

I walked around like a zombie until the sun came out and the rain slowed, somehow ending up back the hideout.

Torn looked up as I came down the stairs.

"Where have _you_ been?"

"Walking."

"Daxter told me he woke up at four this morning and you weren't there."

I stared at him, too burnt out to change the empty expression on my face, or even say anything.

"You called him Daxter," I said after a moment.

"Hmph. Well that's gonna have to change." He looked back down to the maps on his desk, drinking from his mug.

I walked to our room to find Daxter pacing.

"Where the hell have you been?! I was worried sick about you!- And you're soaked! Tell me what happened."

I didn't respond.

"Still as mute as ever I see," he commented.

I ignored him and went to the dresser, removing the shirt that clung to my skin from the rain.

"Hey! Don't fucking ignore me, Jak!" He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around, his fingers gripping my bare skin.

I stared at him, motionless, not even cringing as he put pressure on my wound.

"Now tell me what the hell happened." His gaze was dead-serious.

"I just had a nightmare that's all." I looked down and Daxter put a finger beneath my chin forcing me to look at him.

And then I just snapped. I didn't know who he was and I jumped away from him, pressing myself to the wall opposite him.

"Jak…?"

'_Oh, Jak…you're so innocent, I love it.'_

I covered my ears. "No…no shut up please…"

"Hey…Jak, it's me Daxter…" He took a hesitant step towards me.

'_Jak, you're muscles are so tense…let me relax them for you…'_

I scrambled to my feet and ran from the room and back outside, the cold, wet air hitting my face with a smack. I knelt down on the ground, curling up. My breathing was coming fast as I slumped down against the gravel. Cool ground pressed against my burning cheek.

The world felt far off, like I was floating just above the surface of consciousness. Images blurred together. Blood. Screaming. Arms around me. I'm small. Being carried in someone's arms. But she falls. And so do I. I skin my knee. I look over to see a blur of red and flashing armor. Dark crimson is seeping out from underneath her dress. My eyes widen and I feel my lungs gather a scream, but nothing comes out. I see her eyes. Blue. A mirror of my own. The life drains out of them slowly.

Cold water splashed me awake and my eyes shot open. I drew my breath sharply and looked around desperately for those eyes. But they were no where to be found.

"Jak…?" Daxter was kneeling next to me, his arms resting on the bed. "There you are…" His smile was tense, but I saw the pressure leave his face the tiniest bit. "I was worried about ya for a second there."

I looked around, wondering how I got in here.

"Don't ask, big guy. You're heavier than you look," he laughed dryly.

We lapsed into silence and our gazes stayed locked on each other.

"What happened back there, Jak…?" His brow was drawn over eyes clouded with worry.

I shook my head as if to say I didn't know.

"Seeing him again really fucked you up big time, buddy…" I could see the hatred brewing like a storm in the ocean of his eyes.

"I keep flashing back. It's getting harder to keep the memories away," I told him.

His gaze, which had seemed far away, was brought back. After a moment he rested a hand on my forehead.

"Might have something to do with that massive fever you've got going!" He yanked his hand back. "Damn! It might leave a mark!"

And although I knew he was being overdramatic I knew there was some truth to his statement. I had been feeling off since I woke up in the middle of the night.

"Daxxie! Here you are!" I looked over to see Tess at the door. "I gotcha both a coffee!" She put them on the rickety night stand next to the bed. Then the scene seemed to register.

Me soaking wet, most likely looking like death itself and Daxter looking more worried than most ever saw him.

"What's wrong?" Her blonde brow puckered.

"Seems to me that Jakkie here might be a little bit- or a lot bit - sick."

Tess leaned closer and I could smell grease from the guns she spent her days with, along with a hint of alcohol that still clung to her clothes after working the night shift. It amazed me how she still stayed so perky despite her obvious lack of sleep.

She pressed the back of her hand onto my head and her eyebrows shot up.

"Whoa! Jak! You're burning up!"

"_Oh, sweetheart you're burning up!" The same woman from my earlier dream was leaning over me, brushing the damp hair from my forehead. "Honey!" she called to someone I couldn't see. "Bring me something for him will you?" _

"Jak?" Tess' voice came through the fog. "Jak?" she said a little louder.

"Hmm?"

"I asked if you'd cleaned your wound today."

"No."

She gently pushed up my sleeve, trying to avoid rubbing anything the wrong way.

"Jak…" she gasped. "W-what…?"

"What the heck is that?!" Daxter finished for her.

I looked down to see blood oozing around the stitches, but the blood was a dark purple, almost black.

"That happens sometimes…" I told them.

"Jak, this doesn't look good at all… I'll ask Torn for the first aid kit and see what I can do. Otherwise I'll get the Shadow; he's a master when it comes to healing- I think he could even be a sage."

As she left the room Daxter looked to me. "Old Green Stuff bein' a sage huh? How predictable," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

I could feel the corner of my mouth turn up into a smile.

But despite that, the crease in his brow still remained.

"Dax, don't worry so much, I'm gonna be fine."

"Look who's talkin', big guy!" He plopped down next to me on the bed. "All you seem to do is worry…" He placed his thumb on my forehead in an attempt to smooth out the faintest of lines that was etching its way into my skin more every day.

I let my face relax with a sigh.

"You used to be so carefree back in the old days, Jak… I was the one who worried over stupid stuff, never you," he paused. "You know, your eyes always made you look so much younger yet older at the same time… I dunno how to explain it."

He was stroking the skin at the edges of my eyes now and I stayed silent, watching as emotions passed in his eyes from the memories obviously replaying themselves in his mind. His jaw clenched and he stood up, turning his back to me. His shoulders were hunched, and he shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

"Dax…?"

I could see him shaking and I made a move to get up, but stopped when his hands clenched into fists, now out of his pockets. He spun around to face me, his eyes far off and full of anger; an emotion that didn't often appear on his face.

"I'm just pissed off at this city, Jak! We friggin' get blasted Precursor-knows how many years into the future into this dump and the first thing that happens is they take my best friend away to pump him full o' dark eco!"

I was caught off guard and opened my mouth to say something but he kept going.

"The first words that came outta your mouth were a death threat for Precursors' sake! Look how much this city's already changed you! And there is no way I'm letting more shit happen to you! You were just so…I dunno innocent before all this crap… And they just hadda ruin that! You never did anything to anyone…you risked your friggin' life to try and change me back and this is what happens?" He put a hand over his face and I could see his two front teeth worrying at his lip, something he did when trying to hold back tears.

"C'mere…" I patted the bed with my good arm.

He didn't need more invitation than that before he was kneeling on the floor, leaning his head on my chest. He nuzzled his face into my shirt, a habit from being an ottsel for so long.

After a little while he sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his gloved hand.

"We're gonna get 'em back, Jak. That's for sure."

"I know, buddy." I smiled, ruffling his red hair, sending his goggles askew.

"You know, I'm not an ottsel anymore, Jakkie-boy."

"Old habits die hard." I smirked.

He rolled his eyes, his mood improved. As he stood up, Tess came in with a first aid kit.

"Alright! You get changed into dry clothes, I'll clean you up, and come back later to check on you."

I nodded.

Once I was done she got to work. "Torn said that you could take the day off as long as me and Daxxie fill in for whoever's taking your job, which really shouldn't be a problem, right?"

"Oh boy!" Daxter shouted from the bathroom. He ran out, his face flushed from being freshly washed. "My first mission?!"

Tess giggled. "Yupp! And who better to be with than me?" Her eyes stayed fixed on the task at hand and I spared a glance over to Daxter who gave me a knowing look. A look that said 'well I could think of one person who might be better', but he said nothing.

"Of course, sweet cheeks. I'm ready to rock n' roll." He yanked his gloves back on and Tess stood.

"Alright! All done!" She smiled hugely. "I'll be back to check on your later and until then just rest alright? I'll take care of my wittle Daxxie-poo." She pinched his cheek.

He rolled his eyes and pulled on the boots Torn had surprisingly supplied for him.

"Later, Jakkie-boy." He winked at me and shut the door, leaving me alone.

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><p><em>Author's Note: <em>I do not own Jak and Daxter, that belongs to Naughty Dog. <em>_


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: The lack of lyrics up here is bothering me still. It didn't really fit to put any since this is all Daxter and it's a rather short chapter. But I might find something to put in eventually. I apologize for this being short by the way._

_I do not own Jak and Daxter, that belongs to Naughty Dog. _

* * *

><p><strong><em>Daxter's POV<em>**

"You know, babe, if I had known I would be getting sewer duty I woulda stuck around with Jak." I shook some unidentifiable muck from my shoe. "These are new kicks ya know!"

"Oh, Daxter," she laughed. "You can be such a baby sometimes." She mussed my hair.

"Why does everyone insist on doing that?" I sighed, adjusting my goggles for the second time today.

"Besides, Jak needed some rest and you would have been too bored, you know that."

"Yeah yeah…" I muttered.

I was gripping the gun in my arms so tightly I thought my fingers might fall off. But it paid off when one of those nasty 'gators, or whatever else was down here, jumped outta the water and decided to pay a little visit.

"Alright, almost done. This is just to clear out the sewers to make it easier for our troops to move around down here."

"Do I get a nice reward when we're outta here?"

"Deal." She elbowed me playfully.

Finally after way too long we got back up to the surface.

"Ahh! I never thought I'd see the day where I enjoyed breathing in this city's murky air!" I inhaled deeply.

She laughed. "C'mon, let's get back to the bar. We can clean up and you can have yourself something to drink."

"Sounds good to me, sweet cheeks!" I put my gun in its holster and walked next to her.

"How long have you and Jak been friends?"

I was taken by surprise. Normally me and Tess didn't really have conversations. Just the normal story telling and compliments.

"Well, as long as I can remember really. I remember when I met him. How I ended up in that village I really don't know. But…I'm kinda glad I did. Despite the crappy reason I was there for."

"And what was that?"

I went silent.

"Daxter…?" she said after a bit.

I rubbed at my eyes.

"My parents died," I finally said.

"A lot of people in the resistance lost their parents you know?" She put a hand on my shoulder. "My parents died, and Torn's too along with his younger brother. And the kid, provided he's the real heir to the throne, his mom was killed and his father, the king, was banished to the Wasteland."

"Banished? How do you banish your own king?" I looked to her.

She shrugged, her arms back at her sides. "The Baron was power hungry. He was the king's right hand man. But he wanted the throne, so he took over, and then built that ridiculous tower to separate himself from us 'scum'," she sneered.

"No wonder he's got so many enemies. Well you know that and the fact that he's a friggen' tyrant."

She laughed. "Yeah, that's why. Torn was there for it all. He quit the guard because of what the Baron was doing."

"What about that crazy loon Erol?"

"Oh boy. Torn was the commander, and Erol was a rank below him. Power hungry like the Baron, he immediately agreed with Praxis' plan to double cross the king because in turn he was offered the position of the Baron's right hand man as well as the commander."

"Sheesh! All this political mumbo jumbo never woulda happened back home…"

"Where are you from anyway?"

"Sandover Village. I was originally from this tribe living far off on the coast, but my parents loved to sail-which is ironic 'cuz I get seasick. But still I couldn't resist, so the one time they agreed to take me with them…well it was the last time they ever sailed. And by the time I washed up on the shores of Sandover I was an orphan."

She looked at me funny. "You said Sandover Village…?"

"Yeah…why…?" And then I realized that to everyone here, Sandover was at least 200 hundred years in the past. "Okay I know what you're thinking, sweet cheeks, but I'm not crazy. Me, Jak, and our friend Keira and her dad Samos came through a rift that apparently brought us into the future."

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Samos?"

"Yeah and he's the same Samos you know. Well erm...sorta. The Samos that came with us was older- and covered in more moss… It's all really complicated."

"Where are these friends of yours?"

"Well that's the thing, me and Jak got separated from 'em. Maybe they're together somewhere I dunno…" I watched her face for a reaction. "You think I'm totally nuts dontcha?"

She laughed. "No actually. Believe it or not, you're not the first person who's mentioned this whole rift time traveling thing." She made some gesture with her hands as we walked into the bar. "So ready for your reward for a job well done?"

"Am I ever!" And I knocked back my first drink of the night without even thinking about who these other people mentioning rifts and time travel could be.

There was a point in the night when I knew maybe I should call it quits, but of course I didn't. 'Cuz I'm the Daxtinator. And apparently the Daxtinator makes _awful_ decisions…

In the middle of a story I was pulling outta my butt, the door to the bar slid open but I didn't take my eyes away from the awaiting company.

"Dax, you're gonna get hurt standing on the counter like that." An all too familiar voice sounded from a tiny bit away.

"Jak!" I was smiling like an idiot and I knew it. I lost my balance then and he caught me. "What are you-hic-doing here?"

Before he could even answer, Tess came around the bar and over to us. "Jak, I told you that you were supposed to be resting."

"I'm feeling a little better and I couldn't stop worry-I mean wondering where Dax had gotten off to so this was the first place I checked."

"Well he was getting to be a handful and I didn't really have the time to bring him back so I'm glad you're here."

Just then someone called for her from one of the booths. "Alright gotta run!" She pecked me on the cheek and ran off.

"How ya feelin'?" I asked as he started walking towards the door and out into the night air, still holding me in his arms.

"I'm alright," he paused. "How much did you have to drink, Dax?" He looked down at me, his brows drawn together.

I started playing with his green goatee, twirling it around my finger. "Not enough where I can't handle it." I gave him a lopsided smile and he placed me into the zoomer, getting in on the driver's side.

And when a turn came, which he took gently for my sake, I would let myself fall over lightly into him, blaming it on how trashed I was. He didn't seem to mind. And as I stared up at him, I realized something. I loved him. Not just like…brotherly love but…love love. I was in love with my best friend. And it felt…weird but also…right.

"I love you, man…"

"I love you too, buddy." He smiled a little, glancing down at me for a second as I resumed playing with his facial hair.

"Nononono I loooove you. Like…I wanna date you, marry you, fuck you…and not necessarily in that order."

He seemed to hesitate, holding back what he wanted to say. "Dax…" he began. "You're drunk, you don't even know what you're saying." His voice shook the slightest bit.

"Pull over."

"What? Why? Are you okay?" He still listened despite all his questioning.

Once stopped, I climbed onto his lap, my back against the steering wheel and legs on either side of him. Before he could say anything I pressed my lips to his. I would never admit I'd never kissed anyone but Jak before but…I was pretty sure he knew that-well considering I'd already told him. But it's not like I hadda suck. And if I did…well I could blame it on the alcohol.

He was shocked at first, not moving, but then he seemed to melt, wrapping his arms gently around my waist and letting me deepen the kiss, my tongue poking at his lips, wanting entrance to his mouth. I pulled myself closer to him, grinding my hips against his. I could feel his body tense under mine, trying to resist the urge of taking things a step further.

"Don't be afraid, Jak…" And again returning to the fact that drinking this much was a huge mistake, I reached for the button of his pants.

"D-dax…w-what are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious…?" I trailed a finger down his chest. "I want you to fuck me," I whispered in his ear.

He pulled back and stared at me. "Wait what? Dax, seriously?!"

"You're so fucking hot, Jak," I tugged at his goatee, bringing his lips back to mine. "C'mon, big guy, you've got somethin' else besides your heart that's big and I want it." I slid my hand down into his pants and he involuntarily arched his back at the touch.

"I…really don't think this is a good idea…"

"That's not what he's telling me." I smirked, giving the aforementioned 'he' a gentle squeeze.

I realized later that that's when something changed in his eyes and I knew I'd made a _huge _mistake.


End file.
